14 months ago, my son was born and things did not go to plan. I was prepared for a natural birth but I got too tired to fight against the interventions being thrown at me for not progressing quickly after only having been at the hospital for a few hours. Things went downhill and I ended up with an unwanted c-section. Recovering from major surgery (people seem to forget that it’s major surgery) while dealing with hormones and a newborn is difficult but the repercussions from a c-section don’t end after a few months. Here I am, over one year later, with my postpartum update and I want to share how things are going for me, physically AND mentally.
Physical Recovery
There are two big postpartum things that still physically affect me post-c-section and I’m not sure if they will ever go away. The first is the less bothersome one. I have knots under the incision site from the scar tissue/stitches that can be sensitive or painful if pressed on. The second thing may, or may not, be related to the first issue and that is the more bothersome one. I have a deep pain that I get in my abdominal area especially under my belly button. It was explained to me that it was likely an stitch that was done too tight and is tugging internally.
This pain started between 2-3 months postpartum and was really bad every single day for over a month. The kind of pain where if I was sitting at dinner I’d have to stop talking while I’m wincing in pain. I haven’t had it quite so bad for the last 6 months but it’s started to become more consistent again. It’s frustrating and uncomfortable and something I want to double-check on with an OBGYN before my next pregnancy.
Postpartum Weight Loss
I’ve lost a lot of weight! I’m 70 pounds lighter than I was when I gave birth which is about 20 lbs lighter than I was at the start of that pregnancy. Technically I’m the same weight I was the first time I got pregnant 3 years ago but the stress of 2 miscarriages had me 20 lbs heavier by the time I got pregnant with Henry. It physically feels so good to have lost this much weight! I can feel the difference and ideally, I’ll lose another 20-30 before I get pregnant again. I totally attribute my postpartum weight loss to breastfeeding! My diet isn’t always the best and I binge a lot of treats but the weight keeps coming off.
I’m not exercising much at the moment so I am working to increase my activity levels. I mentioned a few months ago that I really want to do some runs along the beach while we’re in Australia so I’m trying to work on that at the moment. I picked up a BOB stroller on Facebook Marketplace and it’s been so nice to use while out with Henry! It maneuvers like a dream.
Mental State
The other part of my postpartum update is how I’m doing mentally. I’ve finally gotten to the point where most of the time I’m doing fine. I still struggle with how things went when Henry was born. Thinking about birth at all has been a huge trigger for me and it’s been tough. I’ve felt very low about it to the point where I feel like I may need to see someone to help me work through it because the idea of going through the same thing again is a bit traumatizing. The triggers have gotten less intense in the last few months but it’s still not great.
I’m not in too big a rush to be pregnant again though even that stresses me out because I don’t want Henry to be too far apart in age from his sibling… there’s a lot of factors to consider and it’s hard to know what’s right. Sometimes it feels like too much and I’m not even sure I can handle going through a hospital birth ever again.
It’s a lot to work through and I wish that maternal and postpartum care in the United States was more comprehensive and caring for the mothers. Both physically and mentally because I know I’m not the only woman dealing with postpartum mental scarring.
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